Shoe History: Without The Shoe We Would Be Up Shoe’s Creek

The shoe has been worshipped in many forms since people came to realize the significance of them in their everyday existence.
For instance, until we tied animal skins on our feet to ward off cold and cushion the blow of the ground as we ran from other tribes of equally unfashionable appointment, we had to pick pebbles and slivers from our feet and maybe sacrifice a toe or two to frost bite when we ran away from or hunted for fast food that day (fast food meant it ran faster than we did).
Once people realized that the shoe could cover our feet and be fashionable, mankind started to draw out of the era called “The Dark Ages” and into the era called “The Golden Era” (or “Silver Era” depending on what you were wearing of course.)
The ancient Egyptians were one of the first people to make really cool sandals (that would later be copied by jealous cultures everywhere). They had to have something to cover their tender little feet as their slaves rowed them down the Nile in their barges. They made sure even their slaves looked fashionable.
The Romans were just as concerned with how they looked as they strutted down the Via Sacra to the Forum for a day of shopping, then on to a little levity sponsored by the “Lion Club” and the “Christians” down at the Flavian Amphitheatre (okay, I know I have a horrible sense of humor, history freaks….no one else will get that).
It really wasn’t until Catherine de Medici (1519-1589), a short, squat, homely looking woman got engaged to the Duke of Orleans, later King of France, that high heels really came into fashion. Her future hubby-to-be was having a very torrid and serious affair with Diane de Poitier who was a very tall and imposing beauty. Quasimodo, I meant Catherine, came up with the higher heels to not make her feel so bad about her height and it actually ended up giving her an attractive sway when she walked. The heels started to be associated with privilege, hence the saying “being well-heeled”.
Yes, shoes spawned a whole new period of enlightenment, for without shoes, there would be no climbing of Mt. Everest, no walking on the moon, no “up to 50% off” sales at Barney’s.
Without shoes, the world would be walking around toeless and with heels that could sandpaper the finish off grandma’s old rocking chair.